i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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