One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
