do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Houston, we have a squirter
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
