apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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