I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
