I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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