Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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