I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
