it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Houston, we have a squirter
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
