why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
