dude i'm inner monologue high
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
