ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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