Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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