he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize