I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
