I bet he comes in French.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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