So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
