i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
