worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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