I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
