Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I won the penis lottery.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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