I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
