She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
