wrigley field is MILF paradise
My first STD was from a foam party
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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