What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
