aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
