somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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