i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
