I must be too annoying 4 u.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
