I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
