the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
