Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm getting married
To pizza
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
