the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize