If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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