Kiss
Puke
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
