I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
