If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
