everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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