She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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