you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
