Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
