Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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