a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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