I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
