when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
