Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
