He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
