This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
