He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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