She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
