i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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