pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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