I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
ok first of all what the fuck
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
