i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
