imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
