is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
