So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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