Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
