But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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