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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  It breaks. We fall.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?

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• (253): View more from Washington

  don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

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• (650): View more from California

  party gras won. party gras always wins.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?

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• (510): View more from California

  This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...

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