Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
