Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
