Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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  (816): You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses. http://tfl.nu/7wdn
  Replies (50) Good night (953) Bad night (4316)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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  (401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped. http://tfl.nu/rhrp
  Replies (60) Good night (939) Bad night (16131)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences

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  (617): heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences http://tfl.nu/f7mm
  Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (2801)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

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  (519): I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex. http://tfl.nu/m5l5
  Replies (11) Good night (844) Bad night (3643)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (5956) Bad night (1177)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  .....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you

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  (804): .....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you http://tfl.nu/s188
  Replies (3) Good night (3302) Bad night (680)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.

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  (417): I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/1dwn
  Replies (11) Good night (896) Bad night (1868)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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  (573): Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home. http://tfl.nu/anic
  Replies (7) Good night (497) Bad night (1519)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.

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  (731): We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage. http://tfl.nu/1q8x
  Replies (5) Good night (2764) Bad night (411)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!

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  (604): I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits! http://tfl.nu/vxu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1061) Bad night (322)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores

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  (770): I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores http://tfl.nu/zgxa
  Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (245)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

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  (972): Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff. http://tfl.nu/rug2
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (206)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  You said dick pics aren't attractive

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3

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  (240): You said dick pics aren't attractive (301): Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3 http://tfl.nu/0mk5
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (233)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.

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  (705): I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn. http://tfl.nu/ki2i
  Replies (3) Good night (259) Bad night (397)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.

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  (417): I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana. http://tfl.nu/djzp
  Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (408)

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