Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.

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  (662): I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven. http://tfl.nu/u85e
  Replies (24) Good night (3087) Bad night (2458)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

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  (917): im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out http://tfl.nu/fsk9
  Replies (106) Good night (21234) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3705) Bad night (1434)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

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  (323): it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway http://tfl.nu/ikbt
  Replies (10) Good night (3253) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

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  (518): Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs. http://tfl.nu/lvji
  Replies (2) Good night (1317) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head

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  (619): Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head http://tfl.nu/u456
  Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time

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  (203): Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time http://tfl.nu/nn7c
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒

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  (540): Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒 http://tfl.nu/mpql
  Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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  (319): Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here http://tfl.nu/2efd
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?

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  (843): Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo? http://tfl.nu/h14o
  Replies (5) Good night (492) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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  (518): you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh http://tfl.nu/hnvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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  (865): I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday. http://tfl.nu/q5oo
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."

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  (231): When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow." http://tfl.nu/oct6
  Replies (4) Good night (266) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...

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  (617): A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs... http://tfl.nu/kz0n
  Replies (0) Good night (304) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.

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  (775): I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice. http://tfl.nu/qaps
  Replies (1) Good night (824) Bad night (207)

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